CTC Ep. 63 | What's Really Blocking Your Coaching Sales (It's Not Strategy) with Kanika Vasudeva

[00:00:00] Welcome to from Click to Client, where we transform a confusing message into a clear, compelling story that sells. I'm your host, Chris Jones, StoryBrand marketing expert. I'm here to help you attract more dream clients with the power of story.

Kris: I am so excited to bring to you today Kanika Vasudeva. She is an Akashic Records expert and she helps business owners

and coaches really shortcut their way to success, right?

We are navigating this path on our own most of the time, and we weave left, we weave, right, and eventually we get to where we wanna go. But Kanika is somebody who can really give you what she calls a cheat sheet or a shortcut to your path to purpose. So Kanika, welcome to the show. I'm delighted to have you here today.

Kanika: Thank you, Kris. I'm so looking forward to our [00:01:00] conversation today as well.

Kris: Me too, me too. So tell us a little bit about yourself. How did you get into this work and what do you do?

Kanika: So I help coaches make consistent 10 to 15 K months in their coaching business. If you have a calling and you feel like you need to bring it out in the world, but you're sort of not taking the step or you're taking it and it's, it's a bit of a side hustle and you're struggling with it, you really do wanna make it profitable, then my purpose and deepest desire is to help you have that profitable, sustainable business.

Because when you expand, when you spread your light, then the whole world shines with you.

Kris: Mm. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. So you had shared, before we hit record, you had shared that a lot of your clients are just getting started or have been thinking about this for a while, and that when they work with you, you can really get them on track to doing this work as a coach [00:02:00] full-time in ballpark.

Three months is, is that right?

Kanika: Yes. So three months is when there's usually making about five KA month, and that is like literally having no idea, but they're going from, and then usually they. 10 K, 12 K, 15 k months start happening in six months. So it's a beautiful journey and I shortcut that. I'll give you a snippet of what we do.

It starts with the first session that we have. Um, and typically my clients at this stage will be the ones who know that they're supposed to step into a calling. They might be sometimes unsure about their craft, and a lot of times they're sure about their craft, but they just don't know exactly what portion, what modality, how to package it so that it comes out.

For example, reiki healing could be for various things. It could be for animals, could be for kids. How do they package their services sometimes while they're learning, because we all are lifelong learners, and how do they bring it to the market so that people really get it? My job becomes [00:03:00] combining that modality, that understanding of what they have and what they truly bring to the table.

So my cheat sheet method is that I am an Akashic Records reader. I guide them on a journey to see their next level, like literally see their next level. So we see the next level higher self version, we tap into what it's doing. What it's talking about, how it's li living the day, what are the ideal clients?

What is that conversation looking like? How are they really promoting the message? So you see it's a cheat sheet. We go and we spend as much time as we want to there. We explore different aspects and I'll keep guiding them till we really get the whole essence around the ideal client. Like who are they first meant to serve?

How are they meant to serve it? Who are the clients who are listening to them? How are the clients feeling, but more importantly, like what is it that clients are taking from them? So for example, the healer could be thinking, oh, should I heal? Should I really focus on [00:04:00] people who are feeling very stuck and depressed right now?

Should I work with parents more? There could be so many different things and pulls that they have because we've gone through our life and we've all had lots of experiences. But it helps you really tune and hone into your messaging and that way we are shortcutting. Our way from point A to point B, like that place where people will really listen to you, that message, that purposeful part of you, that everybody will resonate.

We just go there quicker because we see that vision and we lock that in and the following sessions after that because now we've got the energetic cheat sheet. Then it's just bringing that strategy, the alignment, the tactical steps to it, and then there's more real world practical guidance. Um, so it's a beautiful combination.

I sort of never knew how all of my story weaved together, but I'm an MBA and engineer by background, very structured, very methodical. And then I have this mystical side, which is very [00:05:00] deep, and I can pull both of them together, bring that real version forward for my clients, help them see it so that they're moving forward quickly.

Kris: Incredible. Incredible. Okay, I wanna rewind for a minute because I know what Akashic records are. I've had Akashic record readings, but a lot of people don't know that word. Right? I am sure you talk to people who are like, what is Akashic? What, what even is that number one? And then I also wanna ask you like, how did you go from being an engineer into really this very, um, deeply kind of spiritual mystical path?

Um, so let's start with Akashic. Record one, one-on-one.

Kanika: Akashik records are your soul's library of everything. Like, literally think of anything and everything that happened in your life and they hold all of that information. Um, you could think of your life, your relationships, your education, your teachers, your parents.

It holds all of that information. [00:06:00] And that is just one chapter of your AK records. Um, like maybe your book has thousand pages, and that is probably just literally one chapter, maybe 10, 15, 20 pages, right? But there's a whole lot of your soul's essence, your story, how you've been evolving, why you ever took your first form, and why you've been.

Coming here on earth, like who you are, bigger as a purpose. So we tap into that soul essence and that story can be a lot different. It resonates deeply. But you start understanding, okay, why am I here on this life? What is my purpose? Truly like, um, it reconnects you to the real authenticity or the deeper why of you.

And if you see across multiple businesses that are successful, and I'm talking about big brands here, you'll always see a purpose thread running through them. Why they're doing what they're doing, how they're connected with the humanity. What is it that is serving and bringing into the [00:07:00] world. So when we connect you to that deeper purpose of who you truly are, um, for example, with my clients, yesterday I was talking to, um, a lady and I was just telling her.

That she's really meant to bring a lot more harmony and a lot more love into the world, like the way she can speak and she can see patterns with a lot of people. She can just pick them very quickly. And she has a very beautiful way of being able to even talk to different sides of the same situation.

Like even if there's a legal battle, she can actually talk to both of them and really pull them forward on their aligned path, like reducing conflict. And that's her purpose. And she was like, yes, I actually have people from, you know, different nationalities, different like really different religions.

Everything's different. And she can really do that. But once you know that that's your strength, and that strength could be different for everybody. But once you know what your unique essence, your strength is, you can really bring that in more deeply as a coach, you can resonate from that. So that's the [00:08:00] power of the Akashic records.

It tells you about your deeper why. It really anchors you to your deeper purpose on earth. And so that's just, it's um, it is like being reconnected with your inner light. So when they come to me, if I give you a visual in the beginning, maybe they're like a little candle. And when we start working together, they're actually connected with the lighthouse that's inside them.

Kris: Mm. That's beautiful. You know, I talk a lot about the coach, the business owner, the consultant. Has a hard time figuring out their purpose, their message, their offering. There are so many decisions that need to be made, and they all need to be made from a very core, aligned place. I call it, you know, it could be a strong foundation, right?

That everything is built upon. And when you get clear on that foundation, everything else ripples out so much more easily [00:09:00] because it's. All aligned with that thread. And one of the metaphors I love to use is, as a coach or consultant, we're really, we're so close to ourselves that we're inside of a bottle trying to read the label.

That can only be read from outside that reality. No one's immune to it, you know, we're all just so close to our own selves. So writing about things or getting clarity about our purpose is so hard. And so often we need a coach or a consultant or a thought partner to come in, look at our bottle, and read that label that we are just too close to.

And so. Your work and my work really, there's a beautiful overlap of a Venn diagram. Um, because we, we do a similar type of work in such different ways, and what I wanted to share is that, you know, when you're your own business, um, it's often hard to figure out what your purpose is. And I [00:10:00] think when things come very easily to us or they're just natural, like this woman's ability to dissolve conflict and get people in alignment and propel them forward, um, that probably comes so easily to her that she wouldn't even identify that as a strength, let alone a purpose.

But it sounds like this work that you're doing really brightens that light that I love that visual, but also just, uh, clears the fog around. Acknowledging and validating the beautiful gifts that you already have. I think often we put value on the things that we find hard to do or are effortful for us, but really the value and the, the way you can really make more money and be more sustainable with your energy and time is to really hone in on those natural gifts and really get aligned with your purpose.

And then all those dominoes fall effortly effortlessly after that.

Kanika: [00:11:00] Absolutely. It connects them with their deeper purpose and deeper purpose for all of us is to serve the world, to bring a message out into the world, and the more they do it, it is a be, it is literally like a candle, and then you know, really growing brighter and becoming the lighthouse because in that they're really recognizing their own inner power There.

Offering, like what they mean to the world, who it is that they deeply, truly are. Because business growth is directly proportional to your inner growth, especially if it is a hot led business.

Mm-hmm.

So the more they're able to tune into themselves and actually tap into who they truly are into their core strength, to their core gifts, the more they're able to shine brighter.

And it is like the lighthouse as well in the sense that people are able to see them more because their messaging gets very clear. Once you know that this is what you truly, deeply meant for. So for example, a Reiki healing and just like putting up a banner that, hey, I'm a reiki healer, [00:12:00] that will have a different impact vis-a-vis saying that, you know, my purpose is to help animals and I do it because of that, it just gets a lot more.

Um, ice, because you are, first of all, you're now drawing only the animal people who are wanting to do reiki, healing with animals. So that's your target client. Mm-hmm. And then this is what I work with, like another client I worked with, uh, she's an astrologer, and we were looking at what are the astrology readings that she should put out.

And normally when you look at Ash, the histology readings, it's like, okay, you'll have a natal birth chart and you'll have this. Whereas her gift is around really helping people move out from a stuck place and give them clarity around their next steps. So we said, okay, her offer is that she'll do, she'll use astrology to help you out of your life transitions and give you clarity there.

But if somebody is stuck or feeling like, oh, you know, I've gotta change something, I don't quite know what, and there's an offer that just says. Well, there's a natal reading or there's an astrology reading, whether it be something that really speaks to [00:13:00] what you truly want, you just gravitate there. So the lighthouse effect also is that multiple people get drawn to them because everybody else is seeing the light more.

Like you can't see the candle as much. It, it'll have a limited, uh, radius spread. Yeah. Yeah. And the lighthouse will just draw a lot more people.

Kris: Right, right, right. Naturally, naturally much more visible, much more magnetic. Right. Yes. Like my clients.

Kanika: Go ahead. It's so clear. Uh, sorry I cut you off. That's good.

But my clients get so clear that they'll just have conversations. They'll get clients while they're grocery shopping, while they're getting for a haircut because the offer, what they're bringing, that just gets so exciting, so inspiring, and it's so truthful to them. It's not selling, but they'll convert, uh, when they go and just have a haircut.

Kris: Right, right. Just truly effortlessly. You're just going through your day and people are wanting to give you money. Let's talk about money for a minute. [00:14:00] Um, one thing that I've learned in the last few years is that there isn't a limited amount of money in the world. There isn't like a definitive amount of money.

I mean, number one, the government prints money whenever it wants to, but, but energetically, right? I think culturally, anyway, I was brought up to think there's a, there's a certain amount of money and if I'm making a lot of money, I am potentially taking money away from somebody else. And I, I, I know differently now, right?

I, I don't, I think of it so differently. Um, but. It's easy to get kind of caught in that, and I think especially as a heart led business, right, coach, consultant, if you are doing something that is aligned with your purpose, you are a heart led business. And when people are doing really good work and they're really serving the world and they're making the world a better place, I think there's [00:15:00] often a contradiction internally or like a riff around if I'm really a good person, if I'm really trying to make the world a better PR place, I should make it really, really, really affordable.

Or, you know, uh, just not earn the abundance that I want or deserve. Right? There's this sense of, um. That, yeah, just that, you know, I'm doing good work, so I should essentially do it for practically free. And, um, there's a, a podcast that I listen to called The Spiritual Investor and she, she is fantastic, I highly recommend it, but her whole mission is to get more money in the hands of good people, because good people are the ones that are gonna change the world, but money is such a powerful tool to help good people change the world.

And right now all the money is in the hands of people, most of [00:16:00] it anyway, in the hands of people that like maybe aren't the, the best controlling the, the, the best representatives of like, just here to make a positive impact on the world. So I wanna hear, I've just talked a lot. Tell me what your thoughts about that.

Kanika: Well, first of all, I just wanted to say the thank you because you've brought a lot of the reservations around money. You know, we can think that money is hard to earn. We can think that money is limited, especially as spiritual heart led owners. We could think that, oh, this is a service. I'm meant to serve the world, so shouldn't I do it for free.

Um, money is very interesting. Um, and, uh, we'll talk about my background later. Uh, but I'm an engineer by background, so I've sort of studied money. It's been very interesting. I've seen it in the corporate life and I've climbed. The soc, the corporate ladder there to get a lot more money. Then I've gone into a spiritual business.

I've taken that strategic mindset and come here and looked at money and realized, oh gosh, it's just [00:17:00] very different in a spiritual world because I can apply the same thing and let's say a traditional 3D world where you're selling a product, the brick and mortar world, and it behaves differently, and then you bring it to this place where you're wanting to ripple out positive effects, positive transformation, and it just behaves differently, like what's going on.

Money is a frequency of exchange. Once upon a time, however that worked through, there was a barter system. People were perhaps exchanging animals, exchanging other things in terms of the service or the product that they were giving, right? And then later on down the line. That became money, or the coins or the dollar bills that we, but fundamentally, it is a frequency of exchange.

And what that means is that even with all the goodness of your heart, when you just really bring something out into the world and you say, okay, I'm going to offer it for free, [00:18:00] you've taken that conversion away. The frequency of exchange away, and the person who's receiving it gets it for free. So you want the transformation to happen, but you see the energy has not exchanged here.

If I look at my inbox, I can tell you even now that there are lots of freebies, good freebies that I've signed up for and have not opened them. And I'll perhaps ask this question from the listeners, and I want you to think of things as well where you have just done some impulse purchase and you've got something, it was slightly small amount.

You didn't think much of it, it looked pretty. And then have you ever had things that you've just come back home and you've sort of never looked at it, you bought it, but you never looked at it.

Mm-hmm.

So that tells us, because I asked this question with my clients as well, the ones who really want the service to be affordable, and everybody says yes to that.

And we do this because there has not [00:19:00] been an exchange there. I have not brought into the transformation. It was just so easy. But the transformation I haven't bought, the transformation I cannot receive.

Kris: Mm. And I've watched this. Wow. Wait, let's just, will you repeat that one more time? That is so cool. Ke do it again.

Kanika: If we haven't brought the transformation, if we haven't purchased the transformation, we haven't entered that frequency of transformation. We cannot receive transformation.

Kris: Mm, wow. Yeah. Yeah. I get it.

Kanika: If we haven't paid for money, if we haven't paid for the transformation, we are really not able to accept it, have it inside us, because we just have not stretched ourselves to have that transformation.

Kris: Right. And we have no skin in the game. Right. Like I tell my clients, you're actually doing your. Potential clients a favor by charging [00:20:00] a solid amount of money. A good amount of money. Right? Because then they are way more likely to experience that transformation if they have skin in the game, right? You come as a coach, you usually come with years of experience and natural talent that you're, you're contributing to this exchange, but the receiver is not able to fully receive it unless they have given you money.

Kanika: Exactly. The coaching is happening at that time. When they are taking that money out, it's a little stretch. It's expansion again, think of that whole thing energetically when you're pulling money out and it feels a little uncomfortable, you're actually moving out of your comfort zone. The biggest transformation starts happening then when money exchanges hands.

Mm-hmm.

Kris: Wow. I love talking about money for this reason. Like it's so fascinating. It's one thing on the surface [00:21:00] and it's so much more underneath. And I played Monopoly as a kid, and so like I learned about money in that way, and I still think of it in many ways as a really fun game. It doesn't have to be so loaded.

Right.

Kanika: It is not. It is not. Money is the frequency of fun. It wants to play. That's why it wants to go out, buy, do things, you know, different. There's, there's so much that you can do with money. You can be on a luxury yacht. You can go out, travel, you can just pay for your groceries. Uh, like money goes to a lot of spaces.

It wants to experience play, and money by itself is a neutral energy. So that the conditioning, the programs that we attach to it, that, Hey, I need to work hard to deserve money. Money is not really thinking that money was neutral. Money was just like, well, you were overflowing. You're giving so much money is just meant to exchange.

It is just a currency of exchanging and it wants to bring you joy wants to bring that abundance to you, and [00:22:00] hence, money also becomes that journey of self-worth. How worthy do you think you are? So I'll tell you a shift between my clients, like when. I know, I know when they're going to start making money, and this will happen before they've signed their clients, but I know that they're on the verge and this is gonna shift, right?

They've been doing a coaching business and it's not selling, it's not working. And then there's a shift, and then they make money, and then they have clients coming into them and suddenly they're having those rockstar 5K months and then pulling up to seven K, 10 k months. And it happens consistently. And I know that shift and that shift always is, first of all, they get really worthy about themselves, about the services that they're doing, and they're not doubting that.

They're like, mm-hmm, I got it. This is what I'm meant to do, and this is why bringing that purpose forward for them really helps. The second shift that they have is that there is. In a beautiful way. There is a fuck it attitude.

Kris: I love it.

Kanika: The fuck it [00:23:00] attitude is that I don't care what happens. This is my part, this is what I'm going to do.

And it unfolds in different ways. So initially they might have been holding back, probably not saying the full truth, maybe sometimes holding back from social media, but really not saying who they're meant to be there. Like they're, they're sort of wanting to embody that leadership, but they're not fully getting there.

And then there's this place where like, this is who I am, this is what I think, and this is what I'm gonna do. And this is a full on badass attitude. This attitude is like, I am in this, this is my calling. Like, you know, fully in it, it's not another. Another thing, this is what I'm doing fully. This is my path.

And they fully own it. They're going to completely step into their purpose. And so with that, when they're talking about money or when they're talking to prospective clients, the messaging is just very different. Well, this is who I am. That's like, they've got that lighthouse going for them. Mm-hmm. And that's where the people come in and it's just sometimes.

Um, [00:24:00] it's even hard then to pick out how are people finding you, because it'll be amazing stories. Like randomly they meet someone, or the hairstylist that I was talking about, that they'll just meet people. And those conversions happen for two reasons. They happen because they've gotten very clear on their messaging.

They've really aligned now to their inner essence, what they're meant to bring out, but also they glow so much. The magnetism is so much that people just get drawn to them, the right aligned clients.

Kris: Mm, mm-hmm. That clarity and that confidence. Right. It's just like it's a superpower. So when you get on a call with a potential client.

What are they complaining about? I'm gonna guess, I'm gonna guess one thing. Are they frustrated and having a hard time selling their offer? And if that's true, why is that happening for them? Because that's, that's happening a lot around, you know, around in the coaching and consulting space. So why do coaches have a hard time selling their offer, in your opinion?

The

Kanika: biggest thing that I find is, and it goes back to your original point, you know, when [00:25:00] we wanna make the services affordable, um, it's also that they are not feeling worthy enough about themselves, that they're stepping into the coaching. It's like, maybe I don't wanna do it. Maybe I'm not the right person to do it.

I'm leaving the safety of something that I know. So it's stepping into leadership themselves. You see, as a coach, you might not fully embrace it yet, but you're actually stepping into leadership.

Kris: Right

Kanika: to be that leader. Mm-hmm. You are, by essence, you're leading means people are following you. You are following a new path, and you have to be that confident, clear yourself that this is where we are going, this is how we are headed.

So it starts with your own inner leadership, your own inner self worth first journey is that, and then that's how it then ripples outside? I have rarely, no. I have not met any client who's not raised their prices. Mm-hmm. And they might be starting from a really low ball offer, and then they go on [00:26:00] to the higher offer because this is, they understand the value of the transformation that they bring.

Mm-hmm.

So that's one of the bigger shifts. Around the services, but also I'll, I'll answer here also around affordability. Because right now people are thinking that, well, I still want to be affordable. I really wanna reach the masses. You can, you definitely should do that. But start with the high ticket offer first.

Because first of all, when you get really used to being, owning your energy to be drawing in good amount of money, you'll be able to draw in people who are ready for the transformation. Yeah. And then from there, even if people genuinely cannot make your high ticket offer, and you offer that, you offer some portion of that as a more affordable service, they'll be able to climb the ladders and see you there.

But start, don't reduce your own value and your own transformation that you can bring to the client by putting on the glasses. Of their story of what you think might be true [00:27:00] in their world. Like you as the coach, as the leader, get to stand up in a higher place and hold that place for them that I hold the highest transformation for you.

That's my vision for you. That's your job as a leader. That's your job as a coach. You stand and you help them climb up rather than meeting them on the bottom stairs.

Kris: Right. That's beautiful. Yeah. I, um, I was recently coaching a client of mine who is stepping into coaching again. She has taken a hiatus, gone into corporate for like a decade now, stepping back into coaching and she is.

Having a lot of doubts about herself. And we talked the other day and she, she is a coach to mothers who are in the thick of a, a basically an abusive relationship with their ex. And, um, in these situations, the X is broadcasting a story that is not [00:28:00] true, but in gen it's called coercive control. I'm, I've learned a lot about it.

And, um, and these, nobody believes the mom's version of this story. And, um, and culturally we're not set up to even acknowledge that this is invisible abuse. And anyway, she called and she is like, I don't know. I'm just having so many doubts and I, you know, I wanna fix, I wanna fix the problem for the, these moms.

And. I said to her through our work together and my understanding of, of the, the power of her essence and her purpose, which is what I kind of is, my gift I would say, is to really, really see that and bring it forth. And I said, your job is not to fix your clients. That is not your job. You are here to believe them, to validate them, to listen [00:29:00] to them, and to help them navigate this not alone, which they have been navigating it alone in isolation and all of that for her.

That's just a no-brainer. Like that's effortless for her. And so it's harder for her to put a value on that, and she is attaching that. She has to somehow fix something when really it's an inside job.

Kanika: Yeah. Yeah. I'm so glad you brought that up. Because your inner growth is directly proportional to your business growth.

You have to first heal the layers. A lot of what your clients bring through your job is not to fix them, but your job is to look inside and heal that bit in yourself. Because the question I would ask her is, where is this part of her that's sitting where she feels validated because she's fixing someone else, and how can she bring her power back [00:30:00] to herself?

Because truly as coaches, all you've gotta do is be the lighthouse. Stand on top of the hill. You light, you light up, you shine. Like the lighthouse is not. Lighthouse knows that the boats will come and go. Boats will find their direction. The lighthouse is not chasing the boats. Lighthouse is just there, just doing its job, just shining the light.

And that's all that lighthouse has to do. Lighthouse does not move around. The boats does not go like, Hey, you should have been here. I was waiting for you. Lighthouse just stays on the top of the hill. Lighthouse just stays, and that's all that we've gotta do as coaches. Just be the light. Be so grounded, be so rooted in our purpose, our service to the world, that we do not compromise what our clients can achieve by stepping into their story.

The biggest gift we can give to our clients is to hold the highest potential for them. Show them that mirror and they can take 10 steps to get there. They can take a hundred thousand. That's okay. But we just hold that [00:31:00] space for them and we allow them to come in. We just hold that space

Kris: so beautiful. I love it.

Um, okay. I want to hear a little bit about your path to this work from engineer to to coach.

Kanika: Yeah. How did that happen? Okay, so. Growing up, I was so much a people pleaser without knowing it, I suppose, as a lot of us are, you know, um, I did engineering when I didn't want to because that's what my parents wanted.

That was the cool thing. I'm from India, so everybody's an engineer or a doctor, like you're supposed to do that, that's the right thing. But, and then I went out, did my MBA and I was doing really well Officially. If you looked at LinkedIn, if you looked at Facebook, uh, we were having good holidays. It was married, like everything was perfect on paper and mid thirties.

My life was not perfect inside. And I remember talking to friends then and going and asking them that, Hey, you know, I'm not [00:32:00] fully feeling happy. And I sort of didn't even know that yet, like what to call it. There was a general expectation that when you grow up in life in age, your happiness goes down.

But I couldn't fully understand that because why do you follow this? What's the point of growing up if life's not going to be happier if you're not going to really enjoy life? But I knew that, okay, I'm disconnected and I need to do something about it. I was feeling very depressed if I actually am very honest.

Then I just didn't know the full words because I would wake up and cry for no reason. I was feeling so disconnected. Um, and that time I started getting into things like meditation and all that stuff, really trying to do it. But I was still doing it very much from an engineer or a project management hat on.

I was thinking, okay, I'm spending five minutes. Meditating A that was hard. So hard to quieten the mind when it's so busy. When I was so used to it. But let's say if I did it and I wouldn't be able to do it for five minutes, maybe two [00:33:00] at tops, it was a very good take and it felt good that time. But I would come out and I would think, well, the world's still the same.

Like nothing's shifted for what I just did. Um, so it was very funny, but I was trying with that really logical hat and it wasn't working out. I was pregnant that time with my daughter. My son was two years old, and then one day I woke up. I was not feeling any movement with my daughter. She was 31 weeks when I lost her.

And that also means that she's a full born baby. I had to deliver her. So it was a very physical experience. My strategy so far without me knowing it, of dealing with grief, of dealing with pain was literally either to get busier or just to engage myself, distract myself and other things. That's all that I knew in terms of handling pain, but this was so much bigger that I could not run away from it.

It was a physical [00:34:00] experience. I, I had been preparing for her arrival. I had the nursery ready and now had no baby. So it was very shocking. It was, it was a time where I could not run away from myself and I'm so glad that I could not run away. The contrast at that point in time was that my son was two years old and 2-year-old kids, they're the ones that you've gotta watch out for really, because you don't know what they will do next and how they will be dangerous.

You know what draw they will climb in and they might have something heavy falling on them, or they might put their finger in the socket. So you've like really got to watch out for them. And so I'm this person who's going through her own grief shock, trying to make sense of life. And I still have to be forcefully present in my child's life because he's all the time, like he's on all the time.

You know, two years old, they say it's terrible tools for a reason. So it was a very interesting contrast [00:35:00] because honestly, that time I wanted to check out of life. I have zero interest in life, and the contrast is so beautiful because my son is so excited about life, he's excited about crinkled papers, he's excited about water, and then he can do dangerous stuff in there and so on.

But there's just a love of life. So I would observe him and I would go, how come I went from here to where I am currently right now? And of course, I wanted to live on because I did not wanna check out on him, but I, he gave me the inspiration. He became the teacher then. And I understood that if, if I want to live and I wanted to live for myself, for him, I needed to find a way to be happy and connected with life.

The way he was. So he became that teacher. My daughter became the other teacher because I really wanted to connect with her. I wanted to understand how is, how did all of this happen? Like what's the biggest story of my life? Why did she come in? Why did she not come in? She [00:36:00] wasn't a planned baby. And then my question was, well, why did this happen if it didn't really have to materialize?

So that's how I got into energy healing and tuning into the Akashic records. And I remember when I got in touch with my daughter and I asked her first, I said, I'm really sorry that I lost you. And she said that that was never part of the plan. I shouldn't be sorry. Her plan was never to come into life.

Her plan, our plan, actually, my soul agreement with her was that if I was wasting my life, she would come and wake me up. Wow. So she had actually done that all those times when I was feeling not okay. She was trying to wake me up, I was just not listening to it. And then she had to get to a way that I would really listen to her.

Mm-hmm. So she's been my guide ever since. Both of my kids have been. Um, and she's really helped me move forward, fundamentally change my life. Um, but I [00:37:00] share the story also because I want people to know that whatever your darkest moments in life are, we sometimes feel that, oh, this is so tragic. And I can tell you with hand on my heart that yes, it was a hard experience, but my life before that was so much darker, but it was that darkness that's actually brought me so much light.

Now it's difference between night and day and my whole purpose of helping other heart led entrepreneurs bring more sustainable businesses, grow profitable businesses. Stems from this, because I know firsthand how much shift you make for yourself, but around others, for others, when you claim your own power back.

Kris: Mm. Mm-hmm. Wow. What an incredible story. Thank you for sharing that. Yeah. Thank you so much. I, um, I have been asking myself a lot of questions lately. I, my son is incredible. Today is [00:38:00] his eighth birthday. He is a firecracker, and he, um. He, he has, he struggles with a lot of anxiety and he always has like a, such a high amount that it's hard for him to enjoy the day to day.

And if you're, if you've been, anxiety can present in many different forms. But for him, he feels the need or the anxiety drives him to control his environment and everything around him, which as his mom, it's, it's a lot. It is a lot. And, um, and I've kind of, we've taken it step by step. I've learned so much.

I am a much more compassionate, impatient human than I ever would've been. Um, but I had a, a reiki session last week and in the thick of it. I asked like, what is the [00:39:00] purpose of all this? Like, why am I mothering this soul? What is my gift here? Um, or what is the, the deeper meaning? And the answer that came was a, a deeper sense of letting go to really learn to let go because I can't fix this and I can't, you know, he is never gonna be a, the typical child that everyone expects a, an 8-year-old to behave like look like, be like, he's just not, he does not fit into any mold and it's been a hard road.

Um. Much of which is just like, I don't, you know, I wanna help if my kid is struggling with anxiety, I want to help bring more healing and ease to him. But also because culturally everyone has opinions about the way a kid should be and behave. And then if they're not, then somehow [00:40:00] it's linked to the mother and the way that they're parenting.

And, and so it can be, it can be difficult, but even me tuning in and getting in touch with that idea of like, oh, my learning here is to really let go. Um, and it's just brought a lot more lightness to the way I am moving through the world and has been such a gift. So I just wanted to share that with you.

Kanika: Thank you so much and happy birthday to him. He would be a spirited child at eight, my son's nine right now as we are recording. Yeah, and thanks for being so vulnerable with the story. I can relate with that. This is why I love working with parents who are conscious or who are on that consciousness journey, and I understand that because similar and not so similar, but I've had a journey with my son as well.

I think both of them, I chose them as really wise, wonderful [00:41:00] teachers. The same that you are doing too. There are a couple of things that I'll share here. First of all,

this is, and I'm saying this to all the parents who struggle with their kids or somehow think that the kids are not right. Because society expects them some way. And I want you to just take a minute and think about a few things, right? For example, there's a society template. Mostly there's a template that you grow up, you do your education, then you grow up, find a partner, you get married, you have kids, or you have a partnership.

You have kids. And somehow that's meant to be the happier thing to do all over cultures you'll find at different ages and so on. But generally, people are saying, Hey, you know, do this like this. This is the part that we are meant to follow. But I also encourage, now just take a step back and see how many of you have actually done that, or people that you know who've done that, and then who've reached that place and you're like, gosh, but I'm not happy.

Like I followed the part that everybody said. And [00:42:00] I'm not happy. So I think first thing that we can do is just realize that somehow we have some templates in life and they have just been templates in life. It does not mean that they're the right thing. It does not mean that they're right. So when we are trying to understand our kids in going like, maybe the template is not working here.

They're not per the, that child that they should be, maybe the template is flawed, maybe the template right now. And I see so many parents again and again, um, where when I look at their kids, the science hasn't yet evolved to fully understand their gift, the child's gift. It's like they have a way of labeling what things are and they only know what they know and then they don't know the rest.

And so the only way sometimes for them to. I put a logical handle on that is saying, oh, the child lacks something. Because that's the only list of labels that we have. And we go, okay, now there's something wrong here with the child, [00:43:00] but know that if your child wasn't gifted, if your child wasn't meant to be here on Earth, there's so many bigger forces at play.

Like the Earth's, you know, nature. There's so many bigger forces. If they were not meant to be here, if they were not in their divine purpose, they would not be. The very fact that they're breathing means that they're meant to be here, that they are divine souls, that there is a purpose. Now think about, um, people such as Steve Jobs would be a good example.

He was dyslexic. And we can talk about so many others who thought differently, but because they thought differently, their difference was a gift to the world because they added something, they brought something.

Kids, us, whatever, different things we are attracting to us, that's our way of learning as a soul. Um, soul souls, when we are born, we, we are just very curious creatures. You know, when we as souls and we wanna learn a lot about things, so there's a reason why we take on [00:44:00] certain challenges in life. Um, some souls decide that, oh, they want to experience disharmony.

So they might actually choose knowing in the bigger picture that, okay, you know, I'll choose a disharmonious home because I wanna experience that. Sometimes they want to experience other things. Um, if, for example, a child has really special needs and when they want, they need to really be taken care of.

And all these equations, they happen both ways. The child's learning something, the parent's learning something. You have a soul contract with your child. Um, and in those cases, often parents are learning to let go to shed their egoic parts. A lot of what you've mentioned, a lot of what I've had to do as well, the less I think of my own child as, oh, this is the perfect version.

He should be, but I just focus on who he is. It just allows me to really get inspired actually that, oh, this is what he brings and that's your job as well, to really let them be. We often take [00:45:00] so much as a parent that, oh, I'm here as the provider. I'm a bad mom, perhaps that my child's not behaving in a certain way, and that's not our job.

Our children are just born through us. Our role is to provide for them. Our role is to take care of them. Our role is to guide them. Ultimately, they're their own individual beings. My job in terms of helping my child grow is healing myself, because wherever I'm seeing the limits with him, that's healing me.

I'll give you another story. Um, so some time ago, my son was little and I was just feeling the anger, the frustration from him, and I was like, why doesn't he understand? How much am I doing for him? And why do I seem to be on the receiving end? Um, and I remember this funny story. Um, well, it's, it's funny now.

It was really painful at the moment. Um. And this is me, like trying to [00:46:00] look after him just as any other parent. You know, we have our struggles. We, we try and put our best foot forward for the child. And he said something like, oh, I don't think you love me anymore, because I'd stopped him from something.

And it hurt. It hurt. Um, somehow went to bed. And then after that I was like, well, I need to look at that. Why am I hearing this? Why am I hearing that I'm not a good mom for him or that I don't love him? And when I tuned in, you know, I had stories that I was not a good mom. Uh, like I'd lost my daughter. I was not a good mom.

I like when my son was born, my earlier story there went to, um, my milk didn't come out on time. And so my son was crying. He was hungry and my milk wasn't coming out. And I felt, oh gosh, internally, without even having a dialogue, but I felt I was a bad mom. But looking inside then, then I could see, okay, I've got these stories going on, so now I can heal them.

When I heal them. And I picked him from school the next day, and he's usually not a [00:47:00] hugger, but that day he came, he hugged me, like quickly, gave me a hug and he said, oh, can I go to the playground and play for a little bit? And then off he went. But it was a shift. That shift happened energetically when I cleared my bad mom stories.

So the invitation here would be for all the parents where you holding that inside, you clear that, heal that for you. Bring that love for yourself, let that ripple out.

Kris: Mm gosh. That's so powerful. Wow. Kanika, thank you so much for all the wisdom that you brought to the show today. Where can my audience find you?

Kanika: I can be found at Kanika Energy Coach on LinkedIn or on Instagram, reach out to me. Um, I'd love to help. And if you are a business owner, you are wanting to just see what's going on with your sales and why you're not getting leads or what is the energetic stuff that's going below your things. Um, then I have a free energetic sales audit for you.

Book that with me at Art of life [00:48:00] center.com/sales. I'll see you there.

Kris: Wonderful. Thanks so much, Kanita.

Kanika: Thank you, Kris. It's been such a pleasure. Thank you.

Kris: Is your website turning away Potential clients? I can help you turn that around. Book a moneymaking messaging call with me today and we'll transform your story into your most powerful sales tool. That's all for this episode of From Click to Client. Don't forget to subscribe and follow. I'm Chris Jones and I'll see you next.