From Corporate Leader to Confident Coach: Breaking Free with Candy Motzek

Kris: [00:00:00] Welcome to from Click to Client, where we transform a confusing message into a clear, compelling story that sells. I'm your host, Chris Jones, StoryBrand marketing expert. I'm here to help you attract more dream clients with the power of story.

Welcome to the podcast, Candy Motzek. I am so thrilled for you to be here. Candy is a business and mindset coach, and let me tell you, we've been talking before I hit record and. The Venn diagram of our work is very, very deep, and so I'm so excited to share her brilliance with you today. So Candy, tell us a little bit more about you.

What, tell us what you do and what's your special sauce?

Candy: Okay. so first, thanks for having me on the show. I'm really looking forward to the conversation. So what do I do? I help. Coaches. Launch their business and sign clients. And [00:01:00] most of the people that I work with are high achievers professionals.

They've been around the block and they've climbed that career ladder, and they really want a business that's going to be their business. It's gonna be a business that makes money that is an excellent side business, and lots of them wanna quit their job. So I help them do that transition from corporate person to self-employed.

So that's what I do.

Kris: Which is a very, a very scary thing to do right? When you've been getting this paycheck, month after month. And insurance. I, I, I talk to a lot of my clients are really fearful about like losing insurance or having to pay their own insurance. And there's these things that we get hung up on that make us feel like this transition is jumping off of a cliff blindly, but it doesn't have to be.

And. Let me tell you, and I think we could probably both attest to this, the freedom on the other side of that, like I consider myself a hundred percent unemployable. You'll never, ever want to go back.

Candy: I [00:02:00] love that. I never thought about being unemployable. Maybe that's true for me. I love that. And this whole thing about.

We've been programmed to think that our job is security and you know, life has happened and I mean, we've been around for more than five years. How many times have you worked for a company where they did a downsizing through no fault of your own and. I know many people who were made redundant. They just happened to be that line on the spreadsheet and they were below the, below the keep line.

Mm-hmm. Great people, star players, really excellent team members and that. Job can be gone in an instant, and so that's one of the reasons that I really love this idea about having a side business, because when that happens and it can happen to anybody, you are not so freaked out, right? Mm-hmm. It's like, mm-hmm.

It's okay. I have clients, I have contracts. Mm-hmm. I'm still gonna be okay. I'm gonna be able to pay my bills. Right. [00:03:00] And I, we owe that to ourselves and our family to

Kris: have that. Oh, it's such peace of mind knowing that you've got a backup plan. Even if, even if you do wanna keep your day job like. Dipping your toe in and getting started with your own thing, you know, is only going to give you peace of mind, make you better at what you do.

And if you ever decide to take the jump, like it's a much softer landing, so, most definitely. Yeah. tell me what, tell me a, a story about a client that came to you in this position and how you helped her. Navigate the path forward and, and tell me a story about like what kind of success did he or she have?

Candy: Hmm. I love that. I. Yeah. so I, I coach coaches, but I also have a number of people who are currently leaders and they come into my world and, you know, they're real up and comers, they're really climbing that ladder, shooting for the a VP level or the C-suite level. And so one client in particular is a fellow, [00:04:00] and I've worked with him for a number of years, and he was a top player.

And then after coaching together, like just pure leadership coaching, how to manage your mind, how to choose what you think, how to shift your perspective, how to become emotionally resilient and to really get in tune with creating a career that matched his values. Mm-hmm. He started saying. Hmm. I kind of like this coaching thing that you do.

I'm interested in being a coach. So guess what? Off he goes and he does his coach training, and now he is on contract coaching for one of the big universities in the States. And so. That, you know, like, it's not like he went from rags to riches or that he went from you know, a job to being a seven figure business owner, which is a wonderful thing.

The transition for him that was so important is he's doing something that he loves, you know, he's gone from the, oh, I gotta deal with these KPIs and this metrics and this reporting [00:05:00] to, I get. To talk to these amazing people. That is just an invaluable transformation.

Kris: Oh, it's so beautiful. And a lot of the leaders that I work with are lonely.

I mean, it is. It's a lonely. Position to be in, to be a leader because people are looking up to you. You, you don't have anyone to confide in, often, or you, you can't, like if you're worried or concerned or struggling, you can't show it, which I think amplifies those emotions so much more. So what a gift for him to be able to.

Really witness what you're doing right and unknowingly get exposed to a completely different career. And so often, like even if we're not making, a bajillion dollars doing our own thing, we're at least making what we were making before, but with so much more freedom and so much more joy.

Candy: Yeah. And you know, so there's, there's two things.

First, I really hear you about that loneliness and it just, [00:06:00] when you were describing that, it just really hit me hard because I've been that leader. I was in corporate for years and years as well, and I've been that leader and I know that feeling. And so just, you know, if there's anybody listening to this, and you heard Chris say that, just know that it doesn't have to always be that way, that there's other people you can talk to that are a safe.

Space. You know, it's not a conversation that's gonna be a career limiting move for you. It's gonna be a place that you could have a nice, safe conversation and really tell somebody what's going on. So I just, I didn't wanna let that slip because it's too important for people. and then on the other side is, oh gosh, now I've lost my train of thought.

So

Kris: it'll come, it'll come back to you. The, one of the things that I mentioned was that even if you're not. making more than you were, you're typically making what you were making with so much more freedom and so much more joy. yeah. So that's so

Candy: helpful. I love that. And so. The thing that's interesting is that you might be used to a salary, you know, like I say that with a capital S [00:07:00] salary, with the bonuses and all that kind of stuff.

But what you're gonna find is that when you're really enjoying the work that you do, you're not buffering. With the extra glass of wine or the additional shopping trip or, you know, three times to the spa just because it's like, I need a break. I deserve a break. I know that, you know, when I used to do, a lot of the corporate stuff, we would have, we would eat out two or three times a week.

Because we were always rewarding ourselves for a tough day, a tough week. It's very different when you're doing work that feels really personally meaningful. You're energized instead of drained, and so you might not be making as much money, but net you might be doing quite well. Right,

Kris: right now, tell, tell my listeners a little bit more about.

Buffering what that means. Like I know that term, but, once I learned it, oh my gosh, did I have awareness around where I was buffering in my life? And, but it's a foreign term to a lot of people, so let's hear more about that.

Candy: Okay. so I [00:08:00] feel that buffering is something that we do to reward ourselves when things have been difficult or to avoid a feeling.

And so if you have been feeling maybe you're feeling uneasy or you're feeling overwhelmed, you might find yourself. Staring in the fridge going, Hmm, what will I eat? That act of staring in the fridge and snacking to try and quell this emotion that's buffering. The emotion is still there. You're just trying to, you're trying to fix it in a way that actually doesn't work.

And so this buffering is a coping mechanism that we've learned, but it's not always the most helpful coping mechanism.

Kris: Hmm. I just wanna pause for a moment because that the way you just shared that was so eloquent and so clear, and I think this concept of buffering is very, very important. so thank you for that.

Oh, okay. So I would love. To. I work with a lot of coaches. I work with consultants, I work with service providers. A lot of [00:09:00] them come to me and say. Why is no one buying my coaching? Like, I'm good at what I do. I've, you know, I've been writing in my blog, I'm paying for ads, whatever I've put, put thousands of dollars into my website.

Why is nobody buying my coaching or why is no one buying my, my offer? And what are, what's your answer to that? When, when you get that question?

Candy: And so it, it's, that's a, a straight question and it's going to have multiple level levels of answers. And so oftentimes people aren't buying because you didn't actually test your offer to see if anybody wanted it.

You just might have had a great idea, oh, I should offer. This X, Y, Z thing, but you haven't done your market research to know if it's something that's in demand and if somebody wants it. So sometimes it's that. Sometimes it's even simpler. When we're working as coaches and self-employed as coaches, we get this.

Tangled, we get tangled that we feel like we are our [00:10:00] business. It's not the same as having a business that is separate from us. And so we can be really nervous to make offers, to invite people to be our clients because it feels very vulnerable. Instead of going, would you like to buy this apple? We feel like the apple is us.

And so. To allow yourself to get a little bit of separation is helpful. You are not your business. You are an entire whole person who happens to have a business. So that's the place to start. Have a little separation and then. What are you doing? Are you actually making offers? Are you inviting people? And so many coaches come to me and say That, Candy, I'm not selling anything.

What's going on? And I'm like, how many people did you invite to be a client last week? And then we hear this very silent tone and they, I either will say, I don't know, which means they're not tracking it. Or they'll say, oh, I don't think I asked anybody in the last 10 days. And so if we don't [00:11:00] invite people to work with us, then they're not going to, and then we're not selling our package.

Right. So it, I, I laugh and, and I. Laughing kind of an odd way because I'm guilty of the same thing. I just got off a coaching call with my coach and he said to me, he said, Candy, you need to be swinging that bat more often. And I'm like, oh, okay. Heard it. Gotta do it. So, right. It happens at all levels. But I would say, you know, look at those things.

Does anybody want your offer? Did you do your market research? Mm-hmm. Separate who you are. From your business and then make sure you're actually making offers. You're inviting people into your world mm-hmm. To work with you.

Kris: Mm-hmm. I think as, as coaches and business owners, our plates are full, like we are wearing a lot of different hats and it can be so easy to kind of have that be on your to-do list, but have other little simpler tasks to achieve.

always. Take priority. And so [00:12:00] we kind of, we get busy and we do the, the, the little things that need our attention and we forget the most important things that drive the engine of our business. We cannot forget to pour gas into the tank that way.

Candy: Exactly, and, and what you just described is so wonderful because that's exactly buffering, right?

Totally. Yes, a hundred percent. We should tweak that blue on my website. No, nobody cares if it's the right blue or not. Right. So there's totally another way we do it.

Kris: Yeah. That is a buffering with a capital B. okay. So a lot of what you just shared, Touches on a little bit of a mind mindset shift and mindset is something that you, you do a lot of with your clients and, and tell me how that works, or in what ways do you work with your clients As far as mindset goes?

Candy: Yeah. So there's always strategy, there's tactics and making sure that we have the right foundation in place. Once that's. Then your success [00:13:00] or your lack of success is gonna hinge on how you feel about yourself, how you feel about your business, and what your perspective is. And so that is what mindset does.

Let's find your habitual way of thinking and help you to shift it so that you don't ever have to go back there again. To prove to yourself that there is a better way for you to think, and when you think better, you feel better. Then your life is better. So it's a really nice virtuous circle. So for me, lots of journaling.

If this is on a video, you're gonna look over my shoulder and you're gonna see a small stack of the journals that I write in every day. And I encourage my clients to do the same. I have a real simple process that they can follow. It starts with writing down what's in your mind, and to actually honor.

That those thoughts are at play, even if you're not consciously aware of them. And then to really compassionately look at those thoughts and go, which one of these are helping me? And which [00:14:00] ones are not? Which ones are just on a loop that are just, I never even realized I was thinking that and it's actually not helping me, and then dismantling it and replacing it with something that works even better.

Kris: Mm. Mm. That right there is the importance of coaching, getting coached, even if you're a coach, right? We've all got this default playlist going on in our heads, and unless you create that a little bit of distance from your brain. Get that down on paper and create that distance. There's no way you can become aware of what you're thinking.

It is just you're swimming it in the soup.

Candy: Exactly.

Kris: Yeah.

Candy: And you're very much, you know, the mindset of a being a, an employee is very different than the mindset of being an entrepreneur. Right. You've gotta think about. The responsibilities that you have, and it's not responsible, like, oh, it's all on my shoulders.

But response able, you know, to be able to respond to what's going on in your life, [00:15:00] and that right there is a huge shift that I've seen coaches take.

Kris: Hmm hmm. Okay. One of the things that you really focus on with your clients is overcoming. Imposter syndrome and self-sabotage. I witness a lot of imposter syndrome, like in, in a lot of people that I'd be, that I wouldn't expect it.

and even my partner struggles with this, like he's been in his industry 20 years and he still feels like an imposter and he is. Aware of it enough to kind of share it with me periodically. we had a conversation about it last weekend when we were on a hike and, and what I shared with him was like, in order to, I'm curious your thoughts on this, 'cause this is my, my take on it.

in order to overcome imposter syndrome, it's not necessarily, Always about changing your mindset. It's about taking action and, and showing [00:16:00] and proving to yourself that you know, what you're talking about, surrounding yourself with other people and re being reminded that when people ask you a question, you know how to answer that and like really witnessing your own expertise.

so I'm curious your thoughts on imposter syndrome and, and how you navigate that. 'cause I'm genuinely curious too.

Candy: Yeah. Okay. So imposter syndrome, that's like a giant topic. Let's just start with that. and what I notice is that it's, it's kind of like a fire in that it can be really, really hot. Sorry, maybe the opposite.

It's that it thrives in secrecy. That's where it really gathers its power is where you have this feeling of like, who am I? I must be a fraud. Somebody's gonna find out, I'm gonna make one mistake and this entire house of cards is gonna fall down, and then I'm gonna be embarrassed and I'm gonna lose everything.

And I'll be on the street like a bag lady with my grocery card. [00:17:00] So it's this, it, when it's hidden, it has way more power. And so the first thing, like you were talking about, your partner talking to you about it like that is. Big for dismantling imposter syndrome. The other thing is that I think that it is so helpful for people to know that I think it's 70%.

Adults experience imposter syndrome. That means if you don't experience it or have never experienced it, it's either coming. Maybe you haven't taken big enough strides in your life, or maybe you might be one of the special few. I don't know. But it is such a massive number of people that experience it so you're not alone, and when you share it with somebody that you trust.

Those are two things that really go a long way to doing, to dealing with it. do I think that it is overcome by action? I don't, I don't agree with that. Mm-hmm. Because just from my own experience, I've had so much imposter syndrome in my life, and [00:18:00] what that did is it made me into an overachiever because I thought if I could plug all the holes in the bucket, nobody would ever find out.

And so in that case, the action actually kept me in the imposter syndrome because I was just using it to try and not be vulnerable. Mm-hmm. Instead of sharing it. Somebody like, oh, I dunno how I did on that presentation. Right? Mm-hmm. So action. But maybe a certain kind of action, maybe an action that is keeping, journal or a file on your computer or on your phone of when people have said, wow, that was amazing.

You did a great job there. Or something that you did where you feel like. I did good. So keeping that little treasure chest of reminders that you're not a complete loser and that you actually have something valid to say and reminding yourself by looking at that. So that kind of action.

Kris: But

Candy: avoiding

Kris: that overachiever

Candy: kind of action.

Kris: Totally balance. Just [00:19:00] making sure everything is perfect, which is the path to exhaustion, honestly. And will, you'll never kind of get to the point of perfection that, that you're trying to maintain. Totally. The type of action that he and I were talking about was taking action. By connecting with a handful of other people and other experts in his industry and really surrounding himself with other people.

So real, truly not staying alone in this mentality. And I have found when I am surrounded by other people who are doing similar work as I am, or kind of at the same phase of business ownership as I am, that. We're all struggling with similar things and that can be so reassuring and really validating. Or those people that we respect have questions that we can answer or contribute to, and help support them, and that can be really reassuring as well.

So, yes, [00:20:00] I think ex I, I really love what you shared about secrecy being the thing that kind of keeps, keeps that belief alive and vibrant.

Candy: Hmm. Yeah. And I really appreciate the action that you're talking about too, this idea of having, you know, surrounding yourself with people that. You admire. You know, they may be at the same level, but there's skills and, and characteristics that they have that you really admire and reminding yourself that you belong there, right?

Like that's a big deal. You're, you're in good company.

Kris: It's a really big deal and it's really fun. okay, so. As we wrap up, I would, I wanna talk, I wanna talk a little about the current landscape online as far as. For coaches, for self-employed people, what's going on right now? Like, we're, we're at a time where politically things are a little bit, uncertain.

I think a lot of people are buying [00:21:00] differently than they maybe have in the past. more financial concerns, like, tell me. From your perspective, how are you looking at this and how are you working with your clients around this?

Candy: And so can see my head nodding yes, yes, yes. I see a lot of people wanting to pull back, pull back in their spending, pull back on doing, on actually doing a lot of things as well.

and it's this kind of running to safety. If I can sort of keep all my little ducks in a row really close to me, then I'll take care of all my physical needs, all my emotional needs, and so. I know that that's a tendency, and by no means would I ever suggest somebody sort of continue business as usual and assume that everything is gonna be fine and that we're gonna go back to the way things were because life is changing.

So we've got the political changes, we've got the economic changes, we've got the changes driven by ai. And so what happens in that environment is that some people get really scared, get freaked out. [00:22:00] When we get scared, we're triggered and it triggers our stress response. So what I am. Always suggesting for people to do is to notice are you feeling relaxed and smooth in your body, or are you feeling tense?

If you're feeling tense in your body, it means that you are experiencing one of the three Fs, which is fight, flight, or freeze as soon as you are in that position. Your ability to think logically and to use that prefrontal cortex, that executive decision making part of your brain, the connection is actually squeezed and minimized.

So when you're freaked out, you can't think that's what it comes down to. So just know that when you're feeling stressed, you're not making your best decisions. If you can manage your stress. And then you're gonna be much more resilient, much more creative in how to handle what you think is right. I don't think that the end of the world is coming, nor do I [00:23:00] think that, you know, we're gonna return to the way things were maybe 10 years ago, especially in the coaching and online industry.

But it doesn't mean that business can't be good, you know, if we're doing good work. And we are marketing well, and we are really helping our clients in making a difference in the world, and we're making offers. There are people who want that help, and those are the people you may want to be looking towards.

Those people, the people that are building, the people that are looking for opportunities, the people that are saying, every time there's something tough happening, there's a new opportunity that's coming. So how do you get connected with those people that are opportunity growth oriented folks?

Kris: Yeah. Hmm.

Yeah, surround yourself with that higher vibe energy, and you'll automatically kind of hang out in that space and that, that's huge. And the other thing, you know what you mentioned about. It's hard to think. Well, when you're really stressed out, [00:24:00] it's almost impossible to be creative and have great ideas, you know, in addition to that, when you're really stressed out.

So that's really an important part of, doing well as an entrepreneur.

Candy: Do you think it's helpful just to talk about a couple of quick ideas that people can do to reduce their stress? I. That does not involve buffering.

Kris: Yes, yes. Buffering goes to the side.

What? Yeah. What are some things that we can do?

Candy: Yeah, so it can be as simple as put on your shoes and go for a walk outside. If you're sitting at your desk or at your workspace and you're feeling really stressed and you've just got it up to the top of your head, just get outside and walk walking.

Daylight especially, and nature. Those are all three big things that you, when you take part in them, it reduces your stress. We are meant to walk. There is something about the movement of the arms and the legs and the swinging of your arms while you're walking. That really soothes your nervous system.

Similarly, nature. [00:25:00] Maybe you're a beach person, maybe you're a forest person, maybe you're a field person. Get out into the nature that really works for you under daylight, not in. Incandescent light. And then the other thing that you can do is EFT Tapping, which is a great modality. It's available to anybody.

There are so many wonderful free resources available. You just take those few little things, walk outside and get in nature and try some tapping, and you've got everything that you need to really diffuse a lot of your stress.

Kris: Mm. I love that you mentioned tapping. I have a tapping coach that I work with every other week.

We meet for an hour and I'm blown away by how deep we get in within one hour and the things that are inside me that get released with her help, it, it's really mind blowing. but also you can get on YouTube and find tapping resources for free. So, yes,

Candy: exactly. I love that you work with [00:26:00] a topping coach.

I think that's amazing. I've never worked with one before.

Kris: Well, I'm happy to, I'm happy to share her information. Her name is Melanie Fay. Okay. So she, she works with a lot of other coaches and I, she came highly referred and I've never looked back. It's, it's really been life changing, honestly.

Amazing. Yeah. And it's not, you know, a lot of people don't know about tapping. I think people know about EMDR, I think tappings kind of in the realm. or they're related somehow, but tapping, a lot of people don't know about tapping, so I'm really glad you brought it up today. Yeah. And there's some

Candy: great peer reviewed studies out these days too.

They're doing a lot of research on it, which is great.

Kris: And. You can do it yourself, like I do it with Melanie because I need that accountability and, and I really enjoy working one-on-one, but a lot of the coaches that are in my circle just tap on their own when they need it. They know, okay, I need to tap through these emotions and, and and it's a really beautiful way to support yourself.[00:27:00]

Candy: Yeah, I agree. I tap almost every morning. Yeah,

Kris: it's great. Yeah. Do you tap around different issues or do you kind of tap through the same, with the same focus? I. So

Candy: I either use the tapping solution app, or I follow Brad Yates on YouTube. I love him. He's like the Mr. Rogers of Tapping is the way I think of him.

And what I found is that usually I'll do a round of whatever is the topic and something will occur to me, and then I'll just tap independently after that and kind of work through like, what's going on with that? Why did that show up? You know, and get real curious about it.

Kris: Mm-hmm. I love it. All right, Candy.

Well as we wrap up today, I have one final question for you, which is, what is one thing that you wish someone had told you when you were first starting out?

Candy: That you can be an amazing coach and broke that you need both. You need to have the marketing and the business skills and something that is gonna really help your dream clients and be an amazing coach.

And [00:28:00] you can, you've gotta do both those things. If you wanna have a business, you can't. I can't tell you the number of. Fabulous, fabulous coaches that I know that have hardly any clients, and that's just a shame. Yeah. So that would be it.

Kris: It it is, and, and that makes me think about what I witness a lot with my clients, which is coaches who are highly qualified.

They know their stuff, their marketing, their messaging is. Pretty flat. It's not a true representation of their, the magic that they bring to the world. And somehow they think getting another certification is going to be the thing that they need to do if they can only get more qualified, if they can only get another certification under their belt, which nothing wrong with being very certified, but.

Once you, once you know your stuff, you don't need additional certifications unless you're just doing it for the joy and you wanna enhance, you know, the way you serve your clients, what you really need to pair with that is great marketing, [00:29:00] great messaging, and finding those people that desperately need you to help them solve this problem.

Candy: To really work on your belief in yourself as well, right? Like you might believe that you're a great coach, but do you believe that you're a successful business owner or do you believe that you're always gonna struggle, that it might not be for you? You know, this is the place you get to choose.

Kris: Mm.

Alright. Mic drop moment there. Candy. tell us where my listeners can find you.

Candy: Hmm. So the funnest and easiest way is to come and listen to me on my podcast. I have a podcast called She Coaches. Coaches. The title is a mouthful, but I release episodes weekly. And Kris, you're gonna be a guest on my show too.

So there's gonna be a great episode where you and I speak there. But that's the best way to find out more about me. Just come and listen.

Kris: Perfect. Alright, well thank you so much for your time today. We covered a lot of territory and I know it's gonna be really helpful. So thank you for your [00:30:00] time.

Is your website turning away Potential clients? I can help you turn that around. Book a moneymaking messaging call with me today and we'll transform your story into your most powerful sales tool. That's all for this episode of From Click to Client. Don't forget to subscribe and follow. I'm Chris Jones and I'll see you next time.